Have you ever been in a situation where someone was constantly trying to control your actions, thoughts, or even your emotions? It can be a frustrating and exhausting experience to say the least. Unfortunately, there are some people who feel the need to control others impulsively, and they do not take it lightly when control is taken away from them.

Controlling behavior can have serious negative effects on both the controller and the person being controlled. The controller often becomes stressed and anxious, as they constantly feel the need to maintain their grip on the situation. The person being controlled can become demotivated, resentful, and may even start to feel like they are losing their own sense of identity. I say this because it has happened to me several times in many situations whether in the workplace or in a relationship or friendship.

So, why do people feel the need to control others in the first place? In many cases, I think it comes from a deep-seated fear of losing control themselves. By controlling others, they feel like they can maintain a sense of order and stability in their own lives. Unfortunately, this behavior is not one that can be sustained, and it can cause more harm than good.

One of the hallmarks of maturity is the ability to let people be and to stop controlling them. It takes a lot of self-awareness and self-reflection to recognise when you are being controlling, and to take steps to change your behavior. Here are some tips for controlling people to help them deal with their behavior:

Identify the root cause: Try to understand why you feel the need to control others. Is it because of a fear of losing control, or a need for order and stability? Understanding the root cause can help you address the behavior. Did you grow up in a home where your siblings or parents controlled one another?

Practice self-awareness: Try to be mindful of your actions and thoughts, and catch yourself when you start to feel the need to control others.

Let go of the need for control: Recognise that it is impossible to control everything, and that it is healthier to let go of the need for control. this would usually be quite hard for bosses and people who have a tendency to just be bossy.

Learn to trust others: Trust that others are capable of making their own decisions, and that you do not need to control every aspect of their lives.

I once had a boss who was extremely controlling. She would constantly micromanage my work, and would not let me make any decisions without her approval. It made me feel like I was not trusted or valued as an administrator despite all the contribution I was making in the job, and eventually, I had to resign from the job. Looking back now, I realise that my boss's controlling behavior was a reflection of her own insecurities and fears. It wasn't really because I was not performing well on the job. This makes me feel good now as I think about it.

To concluede on this, I would lime to say that letting others be is a sign of maturity. It takes self-awareness and self-reflection to recognise when you are being controlling, and to take steps to change your behavior. By letting go of the need for control and learning to trust others, we can create healthier relationships and live more fulfilling lives. We will also be easier to work with in the workplace whether we are bosses, colleagues or subordinates